you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just high enough for therapy.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
