Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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