dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
