i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
