you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My vagina is very pro this idea
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
