Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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