"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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