Don't make out with my wife yet
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
