can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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