i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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