it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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