In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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