It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
