You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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