Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
