I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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