Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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