have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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