So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
