note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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