if only i could text you this smell
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
