I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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