okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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