totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
