So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
