Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
