Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
