wanna go halves on a baby?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
