girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Damn victory sex feels great
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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