how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
