Pappa wants mamma naked
Did you just see the Batmobile???
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
