Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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