...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
