You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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