Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
