David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
