not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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