So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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