what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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