Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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