Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
