i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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