talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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