I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
