What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
