Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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