it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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