ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
