Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
