I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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