i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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